Do you tend to put other’s needs before your own? Perhaps you always put yourself first? How do you balance your needs with the needs of others?
For so many of us the word “No” is one of the hardest words to say, but I believe that it is also one of the most important. It’s so important to our wellness to say it, mean it, and practice it.
Sometimes in life we need to learn to say NO! It’s about finding the balance between these two actions which tends to be the hardest thing. Take for example when we work a 9-5 workday, your boss offers or wants you to do overtime all week but Friday evening your son has a basketball game.
Many career minded people will choose to keep their boss happy and say to their son (I’ll make the next game son, I promise ). What we need to take in from this is that family should always come first and we sometimes need to be selfish with our decisions. In 20 – 30yrs time your bosses and your job will most probably be gone!! How many years do we have watching our kids play sports or watching them in nativities ?? Not long eh!
Why is it difficult to say No?
We are people pleasers. I want them to be happy. I want to be the one to make them happy. We are afraid of confrontation. If I say no there is going to be conflict.
We feel guilty. If I don’t agree to do this thing for this person I love I’m a terrible person.
There could be ramifications. My boss asked me to do this extra work for them when I have a full plate already and John over there has nothing but time. I can’t say no because it will look like I’m not part of the team or doing my job well.
Fear of rejection. If I don’t do this for them, they just may not like me anymore. Feeling of responsibility. If I don’t do this, who will.
How do we start to say no?
This seems to be the hardest part for us, when we say no we should follow some steps to help us. First we should be sincere with our approach and clear with our statements, we must be willing and open to compromise and willing to listen. It’s all about establishing boundaries, which is very difficult, but so healthy. If you want to live a healthier and happier life, learn to say no if it doesn’t suit you.
Of course you’re going to help the people you love. Of course you’re going to try your hardest at work. Of course you’re going to try to make people happy. That is not what I’m talking about, well not completely. What I’m saying is that when you’re never saying no, and always overextending yourself for everyone else, eventually it will come back to you in a negative way. Saying no isn’t a bad thing. Taking care of yourself, and saying YES to you is healthy and good and full of promise.
Take home message… its ok to say no ☺
Do you need help managing your work life balance? Contact me today to see how the right exercise plan can improve your life.